Frequently Asked Questions

  • Have you bought a house?

To be honest, we havent. We have not even looked around yet at all. We dont know where to stay, which location, how many rooms we want. Hehe. Abit shock for others because we’re very chill right now. However we do aim to get a house in 2 years or so. We’re still finding our own stability, financially and mentally first. We dont want to get a house and half way of deciding realises we’re out of budget. And as far as possible, we dont want to get help from others (not being selfish, more like protective of our little 2-pax fam).

My parents have been really kind to not really ask us to move out or any plans for a house. Because if we leave, there’ll be one room empty and i dont think they’ll like that either. But of course we’re not going to take advantage of being under my family’s roof, we too want our own house. Privacy has been a little to no issue because most of the time my family members are out early and back late, so we can really do anything we want, loudly. *keningupup*

Transitioning is hard and im going back to school now. So its full-time work, part-time studies, part-time secret project, full-time wife with a little social life.

But, we do actually have areas we would like to explore and me, being a huge “city” girl does not want to go out of Tampines but if i have to, I have to kan. We are looking for a resale house, abit risky for a newly weds, but we will one day meet up with an agent to talk about it. Im not entirely sure if im going to stay here (my work place) long enough because its like giving me no career progession (???) but im praying tho. A start up company is never easy, really really really testing my patience. Hahaha. But I mean, Im here right where I am for a reason. So im just going to go with the flow.

If its meant to be, it will be mine ours.

  •  Are you planning to have a baby?

Duh, of course.

My aunties have already started the “da ade baby belum” questions but in a more subtle way, which usually i smile and be like, “Sihat wal’afiat sesangat” and “Doakan la” Understood the pressure but even my mum asked me to wait first. We do plan to have one soon. Not sooo soon but maybe in two years or so. I do want to spend more time with Husbi, just the two of us first. But if along the way, Allah decided to give us a baby, we’ll be happy to take it. We’re not tracking my ovulation period/safe period anyway. So no planning at all. If it happens, it happens.

However, we would like to get a house first before a baby. Both will definitely take a huge toll on our pocket if both comes at the same time. I really do admire those mummies who just got a house and having a baby at the same time. I dont know how you guys do it, please teach me haha.

I guess having stability is our most important thing to have. Without stability, we’ll wreck and i definitely do not want that. We’re taking things as it is and at the same time praying that Allah gives us what’s best for us.

I do rub my tummy and pray that Allah gives me a child when He feels im ready because im not. But if Allah say yes, yes it is.

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Husbands, we love them, we hate them but we need them.

I want to hear about husbands being abused by their wives,

  • Husbands being neglected, cheated and betrayed,
  • Husbands who starve and bulk themselves just to look pleasing to the wives
  • Single father of 3 kids surviving on basically nothing,
  • Single father of 5 with a terminal illness or 2,
  • Single father of  7 who have to beg on the streets for spare change
  • Single father of 2 with 2 very special kids and no housing
  • Single father who have to post on social media to gain support from others to get monetary means to fight for his children’s rights and custody
  • A father who will do anything to get the children away from an abusive, manipulative mother
  • A husband who’s willing to sacrifice his own happiness and his house so that the wife can be happily married to another man

And I too want to hear about

  • Abusive wives and moms
  • Wives who cheats and betrays
  • Wives and mothers who steals, gambles and drinks
  • Wives who ignored husbands when they walked past them begging for change
  • Wives who forces their husbands to look a certain way and behave a certain kind
  • Mothers who hates their children and was willing to let them go
  • Mothers who neglects their children/husbands and their/his needs
  • Mothers who sell their children for drugs and drinks
  • Those mothers who purposely amputate their children to gain sympathy
  • Mothers who boast on social media how stupid their children are
  • Wives who also boast on social media how stupid their husbands are

Heard of them?

Not really, extremely rare. And im not sure why either. Im not surprised if they’re living around us. Walking around us even.

It just tick me how unfair the world is towards Men. I think between men and women, men are more pressurised to be a the “picture-perfect” men for women. They have to be physically, mentally, emotionally and financially stable. They have to be work-oriented yet family comes first. Be gentle to the wives but firm to the children. They’re the protector and the attacker all at the same time. They’re the chauffeur, the weight-lifter (for heavy handbags and after grocery shopping trips), the “social escort” (for events we dont want to attend alone), the girlfriend, the bestfriend, the housemate, the bill-payer, the king, the Imam and the Ustaz.

Its time we cut them some slacks eh?

 

Please stay very much in love.

I have the urge to blog.

Also because there is only 2 of us here in the office. The rest on MC, balik kampung or got stuck with the bosses at the coporate office. So Im on a full blown hari raya mood now.

Since Im fasting too, I wish all fast(ers) an amazing smooth fasting. Alhamdulillah today isnt a hot day so it will be okay (minus the 1.5l mineral water i have beside me that is like quietly whispering my name) . 

Any huuuuu.

Its been a month since im married and almost a month after our honeymoon but it felt as if its been months. Is it just me or are the days passing by really slow ~ Maybe just me. Maybe just this month.

I would like to take time to properly blog about my first few days of marriage and what went through my mind throughout the days. Its magical indeed and just very scary.

After my cake cutting session and salam salam, i was already so dead beat. Went back home to clear my make up off and apparently I dozed off with half of my face in make up until Husbi woke me up to pray together. That is Sign #1.

I was cleaning and clearing our things and to put the things back where they came from and I just observed Husbi from afar. At the same time, I was thinking, “Is this guy ever going to go home? Da what time ni?” But then I remembered the akad, and that is sign #2.

We went to Macdees for supper all tired out with my inai and couples are staring. Was feeling very proud of it actually. Im married. Like yes! Look at my inai. Head back home went to change and prepared for Isya’. This is the best part, after Isya’, the Husbi of course la baca doa after solat all and there was a part where it was about zuriat. And it hit me like a bus. I cried. NON STOP SAMPAI PUKUL 2 PAGI YOU ALLS!

It just came to me that

  1. I am married
  2. I am married
  3. I am married
  4. I am married
  5. I am married
  6. I am married
  7. I am married
  8. I am married
  9. I am married
  10. I am married

*chants*

It just opened a floodgate of tears and snots and bad ugly crying and I just couldnt stop. What I felt at that point was overwhelming love, appreciation, gratitude and bliss. I never thought I could feel that level of emotions all rolled into one. It almost felt like I was given a fresh clean book, my heart cleared of bad feelings and my mind went overdrive with the possibilities! I cried and stop, cried and stop. I cannot even form my sentences correctly.

Husbi looked at me and kept asking, “Whats wrong?”

“I dont know. I just cant anymore.” 

We have been together for 5 almost 6 years and being with him has been so comfortable that sometimes I forgot I only know him for a short period of time. Agreeing to marry him was sponteneous, I didnt even need to think at all. There wasnt a need too. I see a Man whom I want to grow old with, to be the father of my children, the Imam to my prayers and my Guide to Jannah. There will be many more years together if Allah permits. Its been a journey as his girlfriend, learning and observing his little knick knacks and understanding him as a person/boyfriend. But now, as a Husband, I know nothing of him, I still do keep track of his knick knacks but as up close and personal, I know ZERO. I was just filled with so much gratitude to Allah especially for allowing my sinful self to be married to whom He picked as my Jodoh. I trust He placed this man for me for a purpose and not just as a soulmate. There will be so much to learn living together, zahir dan batin. And im excited to go through all that with him.

I am still finding my balance as a wife. Responsibilities as a daughter wont be gone just because im married. They just become less of a priority since mine will be my husband’s needs and wants. Transitioning is a little tough as im used to doing chores at my own pace and my own certain ways. But since Husbi is in the picture, I realised I procrastinate so much more that I thought I am. But on a positive note, I do enjoy cooking and preparing supper snacks for Husbi. I somewhat “ban” him from eating rice after his OT in which he will only reach home at 11pm. I’ve always liked cooking but no one will eat cos my other family members arent always home early either. So i just stick to cooking on the weekends (that is if we’re not out for Jemputan or visitings. Haha!)

Overall, our 1st month has been bittersweet. I still do find myself smiling at him when I ter-wake up from sleep at odd hours and apologising to him when I got cranky for no reason or just cry. Also for no reason. Whatever bad that I see of him, will just be kept between us. But all and all, im happy that everything falls perfectly. As sinful as I am, Im really grateful.

No complains, nothing.

No such thing as bad days, just bad moments. And in every hardships, there is always ease. Pelan pelan kayuh, kita masih noob.